Counting my days by the calendar is not the option I have to myself,
In fact, I have almost forgotten what day is it today-
Not that at other times I remember it- Just a thought
Which seems more relevant today than it ever was!
I have made commitments and taken responsibilities-
What do they give me? I have not been able to define in absolute words.
Still I must do it- I know they drive me to push my limits every time.
I am inspired by motivation? I don’t think so,
It is the fear of failure that drives me stronger each time.
I stand up after falling just to prove what I am worth,
Do I have to do that or not, is not something I have thought of,
Nor do I want to think of it, because if I get an answer,
May be I wouldn’t know what drives me, or rather,
I would not want to accept what drives me.
May be in answering certain questions I would not be able to
Look at my self with the same self esteem that I think I have,
But is the fear of my own un-acceptance of my belief
Really the solution I am looking for?
May be it is not! But till the moment I do not have the time
To think of answers to these questions and sink them in
I will believe them to be true.
This way, at the least, I can believe that there is something
That I stand for!