We watch movies. And we see what the camera intends to show us. Other things remaining stable, it is sometimes the camera that provides the movement. So is the case with the human eye. When I chose to isolate myself from the plethora of activities happening around, from the mundane action that surrounds me each day, there was a mild discovery I made. Ironically, irrespective of their mildness, these discoveries make me feel stronger every time they happen to me.

Getting back to the discovery I was talking about: I used my eyes as the video camera. I saw the panning, tilting, dollying and trollying movements as I strolled across my house. I noticed that the objects around me were stable only till my eyes cooperated, any non cooperation on their part brought about a movement in the world around me. And the secret that hit me was: stability is a state of the human eye, which responds to any stimulus provided by the ‘thoughting’ of the human brain.

Then, must I always complain about the changing surroundings! The environment, thoughts, people, situations: they are often a part of the thoughts that stimulate my mind.

Old bonds changeth...incorporating place for new.

life is love, life is a dream, life is a song, life is a blossoming weed, life is sick , life is contagious, life is long, life is grand....but lately to me it seems life is nothing more than a facade of immaterial stitches!

It is more important to live life than to meet death.

Colours...they surely can make life more beautiful! every colour urges an emotion in us...it is subdued and it may, with subtle degrees, determine our moods. Also, they have a varying effect according to the surroundings which highlight them. i have no real study of this topic though! this particular combination of colours stimulates certain gloomy emotions in me ispite of the stark highlights.

Makes me think of someone who apparently might be mourning the loss of a dear one. here again, do let me know what thoughts does it bring to you.

the place is Residency...that is where this picture is shot. in 1857, when India fought against the British, the Indian Army attacked the Residency in Lucknow, where the British forces luxuriously resided. this particular grave is of a man called M. V. Nazareth who died on 5th August,1890 and was one of the defenders of residency during the seige of 1857.he was 75 years 8 months and 26 days, when he died...he was survived by his daughter who mourned him deeply. He lost his wife, Eliza Carina in the seige of 1857, who was 36 years 2 months and 8 days when she died.

Moving on to read the epitaph of Late Mr. M. V. Nazareth...

"ONE JUST SHALL REJOICE IN THE LORD, AND SHALL HOPE IN HIM,

AND ALL THE UPRIGHT IN THE HEART SHALL BE PRAISED."

Now reading the epitaph of Mrs. Eliza Carina...

"THOU HAST PROTECTED ME FROM THE ASSEMBLY OF THE MALIGNANT,

FROM THE MULTITUDE OF WORKERS OF INEQUITY."

There are profound thoughts that this post can leave to you...i do not know if the ones that come to me are justified or not. Do bother to leave your thoughts here and share them with me.

i lost myself last night...to the dream i never saw; to the voice i did not know rested in me; to an imagination that i never thought would turn into a reality!

i wish i could upload other pictures of the same category but the size of these pictures made it a difficult task. thus, i am just putting up one from that collection. i have used my friend's camera to click this picture...nikon D60. i would rather say that this camera is a class in itself. this picture was clicked in the suburbs of the city, lucknow, at a small village. the bunch of kids in the village cooperated well while i was clicking their pictures with a coulpe of other friends!

now this album is a little special. my photography may not be the best here...but i have put it up on a special demand of a friend. i guess it is more about the beauty of nature that these photographs have been able to capture. though in terms of photography iw ould rate this album to be average, but on throwing a glance at the serenity of the pictures i allowed myself to put them up...all thanks to the friend who encouraged me to do it.

now the following picture happens to be even more special. i rated it as poor photography till my friend brought into my notice the shape that these clouds make. clearly, they were not my intention when i was clicking the picture on a moving vehicle. on a closer glance i noticed what she already had!

and now i see a horse (which is rejoicing, if you are to believe her).

the same friend thought that the following pictures were very serene and brought a calm feeling to oneself. so i have again put them up keeping up with her wish.

thanks buddy!

this is one of the most serene and creative adventures i have had. it was about the people i was with, the place it was and the adventure we had had. this is what made this photography trip worth it. i clicked a few unknown people at those unknown places. they treated us with ignorance at first, and then an overwhelming warmth or rather curiosity which took the shape of warmth.

the next ones would be the people who accompanied me on this city trip. i clicked them in aciton, in their moods...and the result is right here.

as a part of the photoshoot at residency i clicked another of my friends while he was at work. i managed to capture a couple of nice shots which after a pretty long elimination process, i am updating here. while he got adventurous while clicking pictures...i got motivated by him. and in clicking his pictures i ended up with quite some adventure too...

wild beauty

i was out for a photography assignment with my college friends. we went to the historically famous 'residency.' i clicked quite a few pitures of the place itself, then i realised that it was getting repetitive. i convinced one of my friends to model for my pictures. and as it turns out, my photoshoot of her was not meant to be sexy, rather, to portray varying emotions which at times were extreme.i guess i wouldn't be wrong when i called it 'wild beauty.'

After all these days of busy schedules I am back to update my blog. Still have nothing much I can talk about. Or must I say I don’t know where I need to begin. I can’t land on any one thought or any one incident that I would want to narrate to you. It is just a huge mess that it always is. So many thoughts, Ideas, beliefs and events! And after all these days I am just losing track of them all.

I get pissed ,if that is the right word, handling such a puddle. And I don’t get to know when it turns into a fear which is almost uninvited. I get to know about it only a minute before, and am not equipped enough to handle it efficiently on my own. Nor can any one else share it…because it is only me who can clear it up. A puzzle, maze, or whatever you may call it, I can be sure that I don’t want it. I already have a bunch of unaccepted crackpots around me who often get on my nerves; and my own mess over it, isn’t something that I would want at a time when I am supposed to work of those supposedly important issues of life.

I know I am confused, and I also know that no one has a solution to it; that is why I am here uttering this shit to you…just wanted it out before it swallowed me in;)

You know what matters the most to me? What those, who I be myself with, think about me. I have always been accustomed to people hating me. And I have rather got used to it. It is not me who can change their view, I have concluded. Because if I decide on doing that, I will no more be living a life I want for me. Dying in the race to please people I am sure to lose my mental peace.

Ever since my college has begun, there have been some random and some gradual changes in my life. With a year about to complete I have here, my lost and found list:

LOST:

Myself

My thoughts

My ego

My senses

My belief

My solitude

My peace

FOUND:

A college

An identity card

A bakery

Phase II

The driver in me

Sleepless nights

Aloofness

Chappals

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